Nip the bud.

...Survey...

2009-10-20T18:44:01Z

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
The remaining bits of flesh from a McIntosh apple.

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
The upstairs bathroom in our family's old townhouse...I remember the oval mirror and background paintings well.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Frankly, I'd rather not..

4. Name someone who made you laugh today?
It's a bit premature to render a verdict on this one..

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
12AM- The melatonin kicked in while I was practicing a piece on classical guitar...I should've read....

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Oh, definitely.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Gawd, that sounds lovely.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
To tell you the truth, most of my friends live more than a 20 minute drive from my parents' place.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
I don't have a track record, so there's no way that this could be justified with an honest answer.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I don't drink soda pop.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
I can't seem to recall.

12. Who took your profile picture?
...I'm holding a camera.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
I don't usually photograph other people, nor would I have them photograph me without consent.

14. Was yesterday better than today?
Not really.

15. Can you live a day without TV?
It's not a significant enough part of my life to leave a big enough dent if discarded.

16. Are you upset about anything?
I didn't get accepted by the solitary graduate program to which I applied....At this point, I'm upset because living at my parents' place at 25 doesn't really do anything for one's self-esteem. To make matters worse, I don't know where I'm headed at this point...My life's passions have been largely depleted upon rejection.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Once again, without a track record to reference, all I can do is idealize and speculate...I want to enter a relationship....To be worthy of a beautiful woman is a goal that haunts me

18. Are you a bad influence?
Well, I've managed to stay out of trouble...I have a college degree, and I take care of my friends and family..However, I wouldn't want to spend a time with a person like me.

19. Night out or night in?
A night out would be preferable.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Mes vetements.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My father, prior to regaining the ability to use his new hip.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
It's from a friend asking if another person is showing at my birthday party.

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
Frustrated and Distraught.

24. Do you hate anyone?
No...It's an unhealthy emotion. I hate situations, not people.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?
Some information regarding a friend's barbecue.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Of course....I've never voluntarily consumed illegal substances in any form.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
rien.

28.What song is stuck in your head?
Jeniferever's "The Sound of Beating Wings..." I can't think of a better song to stick around like this.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
A beautiful stranger who tells me to run away with her.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you're 50?
Nope...That would make my prospective child a teenage parent...I wouldn't want to see anybody endure such a potentially frustrating ordeal...

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Work and Kenpo.

32. Do you think too much or too little?
Enough- I drink a solitary glass of wine on certain evenings..

33. Do you smile a lot?
Nope...In fact, this is cause for concern among my friends and family.

34. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer?
I'm contractually obligated to spend at least seven of them behind a computer..

35. If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be?
Wolfgang Von Goethe..

36. Facebook or Twitter?
I don't have a twitter account...that answers that.

37. Chicken or Beef?
I don't eat red meat.

38. Mac or PC?
Given my needs, a Mac does the trick.

39. Have you ever punched anyone in the face?
...As a child?....

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
...During childhood?

41. Do you think that's an odd question to end this quiz on?
No, it's funny..

Transmission

2009-10-20T17:14:18Z

...Please pardon the extended delay..- while life hasn't been particularly intense as of late, the motivation to write these entries hasn't been present. While I've sought to do so, the drive has eluded me for reasons I don't particularly understand. It's not as if conditions forbid it- After all, with this new line of work, I'm stuck behind a computer for the better portion of eight hours- data entry- it's a pain in the ass, but considering the menial nature of the tasks at hand, the hourly wage is surprisingly generous....And it's been this way for two weeks, making it all too easy to stagnate. Life's hit a bit of a lull- While the world continues to rotate, I remain considerably inert- waiting for internal changes manifest, without expending the necessary force, risking brief humiliation and discomfort for the sake of lasting drive and happiness...Aware of this trend for as long as I can recall, the only violence taken against this state of stagnation has been minimal at best....GRE prep and music lessons aside, the whole of my existence in this past month and a half has been devoid of meaning. I keep hoping for something significant to transpire in my favor- a chance meeting that stops all time, a sudden burst of whimsy sends me afar into some grand experience that forever alters my attitude....Then again, such grandiosity is simply a product of spiritual lethargy....

.....While I try to communicate to friends and family, I find that very few are willing to listen....While I'm aware that they might very well be engaged in their own dilemmas, it would be nice, for once, for any of them were willing to initiate our encounters- I'm sick of being the one who maintains these increasingly brittle ties....In every sense of the word, the greater portion of these bonds are no longer worthy of the title 'friendships,' but mere acquaintance- Nobody's willing to bear the burden I so willingly shoulder on behalf of others....It's not as if I should expect such things, but it would most certainly reaffirm my beliefs in the strength of said bonds...

I need to escape this....I know that this is far from my life's apex- If this were the case,.....Well, I wouldn't know what to believe.....Urgh...Damn it all...I'm so sick of stagnation.

Writer's Block: Most memorable concert

2009-09-27T10:54:08Z

What was the most memorable concert you ever attended? What made it so magical?

View 1501 Answers

As far as post-rock acts go, Mono delivers the most well-constructed and epic pieces. Their 2007 performance made for one of the most treasured evenings in recent memory. While I discovered them several years prior to the concert, I wasn't able to attend any of the preceding shows. To prevent another mishap of the sort, I kept close tabs on their website's news feed, endlessly longing to see the words "San Francisco"listed under the activities/tours link. Three years of waiting, accompanied by a transition into the university system, my lofty hopes were finally realized. The Tokyo based quartet would indeed grace the Bay Area with their presence at San Francisco's Great American Music Hall- arguably the best small venue in the city. Having purchased my tickets several months in advance, I was determined experience Mono in full. Much to my delight, my friend and classmate Joann turned out to be a bigger fan than me- her intense fanaticism, as evidenced by a paper crane tattooed below her left earlobe (Homage to their third full-length) was more than willing to make the harrowing drive across the 17, and the intense frustrations inherent in city parking. Upon our arrival, we decided upon procuring Mono swag before the crowd of a sold-out show might offer any hindrance. Minutes after she purchased a tee shirt, and I, a collection of B-Sides the opening act played a small set. Though lackluster, the stylings of "The Drift" would make Mono's performance all the sweeter. The second opening act was World's End Girlfriend- another Japanese post-rock act. While many were skeptical at the sight of a ponytailed Japanese man with a Fender Jazzmaster and wide array of electronic apparatus, his initially minimal and dissonant strings exploded into a crescendo of simultaneous chaos and beauty. A roar from the crowd, World's end Girlfriend bowed and departed...Fifteen minutes of fine tuning, and the culmination of our desires slowly approached the stage, accompanied by the howls of a hungry crowd...vocal chords nearly exhausted, all hell broke loose. Never have I witnessed artists so devoted to their craft- Onstage, the band played as if demon possessed. Yoda, the female bassist gyrated as if on marionette strings, ever involved in several increasingly complex pieces. Frontman Takaakira Goto, who lost himself in his performance became his own vortex, spiraling into the floor, still managing to generate complex riffs. For an hour and a half, we were blessed by a seamless set- capturing the very best of their four records. An encore wasn't necessary- anything more might have resulted in the explosion of my skull.
Hands blistered from applause, my eardrums needing replacement heads, Joann and I decided upon dinner at a nearby Indian restaurant. Delicious vegetarian cuisine before us, we spoke at length regarding the sum of our mutual desire. Following the delightful conversation, Joann gets the idea to stop the band as they leave. To our luck, each member of the group stood outside, loading their trailer. We approach, thanking them for a great show. I embarrass myself with poor Japanese grammar, while Joann gushes like a schoolgirl, causing the poor Japanese folks to smile nervously.
All in all, it was a lovely evening- Here's to hoping their next performance will be on par.

MJ

2009-06-29T02:56:57Z

Two days ago, my childhood hero departed from this world in favor of something much greater. For the longest time, I was certain that something like this was an impossibility. While Michael's departure is cause for much personal frustration, I can only take solace in the fact that he will no longer endure the sting of so much scandal and defamation. Likewise, he's left an imprint that will not vanish for millennia. Again, Mr. Jackson imparted upon me a sense of personal expression and individuality at a very young age. With his departure, a large part of my childhood will accompany him.
Farewell, Michael.

-Love, Adam.

The Martyr.

2009-06-24T08:20:02Z

I'm an afterthought-
Though I make so many calls in hopes that they'll let me know that I matter,
reciprocity seems out of the question.
My heart, ears, and mind are open to their grievances
I bleed with them willingly.
In spite of my personal struggles,
I think of them fondly and offer whatever's left.
So why can't they see me in my struggle?
Can't I be held?
Reassured that things will be alright?
Perhaps a phone call-
Christ, just let me know you're there!
Share your woes- I'll offer my broken arms to cradle you.
Come to me shivering- I'll ward away your hypothermia with my blood- it'll last until you've been saved.
All I want is your time- is that too much?
Though I'm not all that strong, I'll do my best to bear it with you.
All I ask is for you to see me for who I am.
Acknowledge me.
Please.
I can't stand this anymore.
There's no point in waxing poetic or intellectual; I'm wounded, and this is the worst it's ever been.
Not that you care.

Writer's Block: Conversion Rate

2009-06-17T17:06:04Z

Have you ever considered converting to another religion?

View 504 Answers

From preschool into my senior year, I was educated within the confines of a Christian filter. While our family didn't see it necessary to attend church, my father thought it best to raise morally upright children whose education was protected from the snares of drugs and sexuality. Sure, who could blame him? As a public safety officer, the greater portion of his calls were in response to violence on public school campuses. As a Child, the teachings of Christ provided comfort and security in spite of personal shortcomings. The image of a distant but omnipresent father figure who would give up His throne for the sake of my personal well-being was an unshakable pillar of reassurance. Even as a child, I would memorize Bible verses quicker than the other kids, sing loudly in chapel, and utter a small prayer to Jesus in the evenings. While my church attendance was minimal in contrast to most of my Christian peers, I felt diffuse attendance necessary to extract and cherish the messages conveyed by that compassionate and strong mouthpiece of Christ behind the podium....In one particular instance during a middle school chapel, two corny looking university students performed a sketch in which a Christian was engaged in a war of words with an atheist. While trite in passing, the following spiel left a tumor in my spirit that haunted me from that time:
"A new statistic shows that approximately 40 percent of Christian students lose their faith in college settings."
Not too far-fetched- by all rights, a universal education would prove challenging to Protestant dogma. Still, my ego met this data with considerable defiance..
"Fat chance," I muttered to myself..While high school proved awkward, my faith remained strong, unrelenting in spite of so much personal drudgery and disgrace.....However, as I entered the university level, the tumor slowly and subtly began to metastasize. Sure, the years in community college provided new freedoms otherwise inaccessible in earlier times; in fact, regular church attendance increased to the point of volunteer work. In spite of so many conflicting voices, I was at the apex of spirituality- However, ever proliferating doubt had grown to a level that would place me into that forty percent...
During my third final year in community college settings, I came to realize that very little had come of my faith. Although I tried to stay the course, so many questions began to plague me- Why had I not experienced the same spiritual phenomena as other peers? Why had God become so deaf towards my plight? Why are my non-Christian friends subject to such an absurdly elitist dogma that would send the lot of 'em to Hell? Though I sought to retain my faith into the university, personal freedom would permanently warp my views on God.
True, while I attended the InterVarsity meetings, there was little fulfillment. As the studies progressed, and the greater portion of my energies were devoted to the study of inequality, I began to see a growing void where God should have been. Due to inaction on the half of the global north, the developing world continued to suffer while we grew fat...A child in Ghana would die of starvation before he had the chance to accept Christ into his life...Though I addressed this question in prayers, screaming, weeping on many occasions, Christ continued to stay silent...or deaf. While I tried to live in a morally upright fashion, God's absence further isolated me. I couldn't face many of my Christian friends with such questions....How could anybody still believe in the doctrine of Hell knowing that we are products of our environment? While I did not reject the existence of God outright, I expanded my spiritual search into different mindsets. The Psych and Religion course opened my eyes to a new way of approaching spirituality. Through personal mythos, one could extract symbols to find one's path...This gave way to extracurricular readings into comparative religion and spirituality. Reading into new faiths, I discovered many archetypes- recurrent themes in each religion that were reflective of humanity's basic desire for survival and community- Christianity became another manifestation of these symbols, Christ had lost some hold on my spirit...
Still, I am often visited by the apparitions of my old convictions. I pray every evening to a God who continues to elude me. While I am tempted to stray into territories considered blasphemous by Christian standards, there is a slight tug- whether that's the fetters of God's waning grip on my collar remains to be seen... In spite of this, I consider myself a pilgrim- a highly spiritual person in every aspect, setting off into a horizon dually inhabited by eternal joy and horror.

Writer's Block: My Biggest Environmental Pet Peeve

2009-05-31T21:39:55Z

Littering, long showers, not recycling... What's your biggest pet peeve about the way some people (mis)treat our planet?

Sponsored by One Million Acts of Green brought to you by Cisco.

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The so-called transition towards "green" living through consumption is one of the most third-rate excuses for a political movement in the last few decades. While the idea of low emissions and biodegradable products are inherently good, at its core, this level of mass marketing and resource extraction in the name of "going green" employ the exact mechanisms responsible for the shitty state of this planet. In his book The Vulnerable Planet, John Bellamy Foster provides a chilling socio-historical perspective at the progression of capitalism and its toll upon the natural world. From the Inception of the Industrial Revolution into the modern era, Foster asserts that commodification of natural resources is directly responsible for the current mess. He then argues that capitalism cannot hope to address these issues in an effective manner- Instead, world government must act responsibly to regulate factors such as emissions and deforestation... Unfortunately, with these mass levels of greening, an overwhelming level of resources are being consumed. For instance, when one purchases a hybrid car, they are immediately overwhelmed with self-satisfaction- Through one's dollar, one can finally make a difference in the fate of the world...I'm certain that the greater portion of these car buyers aren't necessarily thinking about the extraction of steel and alkaline acids and the resulting destruction caused through strip mining. I'm quite certain that the toxic emissions from the factories in which the automobiles and batteries are produced goes over their heads (yuk yuk yuk)...
Additionally, while droves flock to Whole Foods® stores in hopes of purchasing organic foods, the greater portion of raw materials used in the farming, transportation, and treatment of said products constitutes in a greater net loss of natural resources than a simple consumer could hope to restore in one's lifetime.
All in all, it boils down to our collective notion of progress- Though new organic farms, "clean coal"mining operations use linguistics to their advantage, the way we define progress is wholly perverted......

*sigh* Perhaps she'll provide a better explanation.

The man who struck at God in the darkness.

2009-04-19T08:47:17Z

An unwelcome warmth rolls into the all too permissive stitching of the screen window.
The promise of spring moisture and gentle winds have been cast aside in favor of the banal sunlight
Her droves dance in circles under the wasteland sky
I'm not envious of their ignorance.
There's a spectre of greater magnitude that requires my full attention.
The progression of my life in the past year has been something of a regressive nature, placing me in the same confines from which I sought release....It seems an eternity ago.
The greater portion of my walls shattered
Dreams, ambitions, raped before helpless eyes.
The remnants left to rot in the hulls of their Promises.
A cinch- He tore his robes and cast his withering hands into the sky, gnashing his jaws with such defiance, the vibrations were experienced by all
But acknowledged by nobody
No fruit could be extracted from gardens now covered in salt
No virtue extracted or emulated from those who fared better.
...The sun forever parched the dust from which he was delivered
A return was the best he could hope for.
However, he failed to notice the sapling..
TO BE CONCLUDED.

Writer's Block: Deal or No Deal

2009-03-08T02:05:33Z

What's on your list of dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

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As many of you know, I've been single for the whole of my life. Be it through lofty standards, or emotional reluctance, the condition has yet to make a transition in my favor. Regardless of these constraints, I still hold to my convictions and desires and will not deviate from them. I know that the right woman is waiting, and my pursuits to find her will not weaken.

1) She Must be attractive.- Though it sounds somewhat superficial, my desired partner must possess a certain aesthetic quality that gets my attention in a way. Though not imperative, I prefer slimmer women with lighter complexion, lighter eyes, and darker hair. Though these traits are fairly narrow, they are what I have traditionally been attracted to in the past... Being significantly overweight, obese, and otherwise homely are indeed stumbling blocks. Though I have been criticized for these preferences at times, they do not strike me as unfair or offensive in any way... My ideal partner shows concern for aesthetics without making it into an obsession.

2) She must prove kind and compassionate- Without a question, I will offer my unconditional allegiance to her. My own needs will be abandoned to better satisfy her...I expect my partner to prove compassionate and considerate. All grievances will be met with calm, and unyielding support. Unnecessary flippancy and disrespect are significant stumbling blocks that will potentially shatter any bonds we might have established.

3) She must be respectful of my convictions- Though solidarity on issues is not required by any measure, any disagreements we hold on religion, philosophy, or politics will be dealt with through calm and collected debate at the most intense. I consider myself to be extremely open minded and will welcome any differences in opinion with gratitude.

4) She cannot be plain by any measure- In addition to a unique degree of physical beauty, she must possess a mind of her own and a staggering degree of creativity.

5) She must not be bound to dangerous vices- Addictions to illicit Drugs, alcohol, and other potentially fatal intoxicants would be a complete turnoff in any case. Not only would it endanger any potential relationship, but show an absence in self-respect.

....Well, that's all I can think of at the moment....Doesn't sound too narrow, does it? Ah well. One can only hope.

But who watches the watchmen...?.....Moviegoers, that's who.

2009-03-07T10:56:58Z

It survived the transition and lived up to a legacy that required more than twenty years to crack. After Alan Moore's arm was twisted to a certain radius, he finally broke and gave his blessing for the adaptation of Watchmen. Given the poor track record of previous adaptations, (V for Vendetta, From Hell, etc.) it was a surprise that Moore would swallow his pride and give Hollywood another chance to properly justify his handiwork. Who answered the call but visionary director Zack Snyder, whose accomplishments are clearly evident through steadfast adherence to the sources of his films. From Dawn of the Dead to 300, the man's established a formidable track record that has yet to be marred in any significant fashion.
Needless to say, I was impressed- though the progression of the film abandoned much of the subplots (The Mariner's story, the psychiatrist...etc...) and the greater portion of each respective character's background story, the dissections were essential for the collective palette of the viewing audience. After the necessary sacrifices were made, Snyder ostensibly scoured the film with a fine toothed comb. From a tailor made cast to set designs so impeccable one could envision the walls oozing with ink, Watchmen comes very short from setting the bar for comic adaptations.Though the film managed to stay loyal to the original format, such volatile constraints prevented Mr. Snyder from taking bigger risks...The Dark Knight sets the par at this juncture, though Watchmen all but manages to scratch its soles....Let's hope Scott Pilgrim doesn't disappoint.

boynamed_crow @ 2009-03-01T01:05:00

2009-03-01T09:12:00Z

This isn't working.
While I'm aware that the greater portion of you aren't reading the posts anymore, just know that times have grown far more desperate in my isolation. The circle of supposed friends I once cherished has constricted to its smallest radius, leaving me, once again clinging to the last fetters of the armor which offered so much protection until recently. Though I send out oh so many signals that are indicative of a strong desire for human contact, the kind I long for seldom visits upon me, placing my powers under a considerable degree of dispute....
Once again, I acknowledge that things could ostensibly be much worse...Yes, I am aware that there are countless people who would kill for the degree of security I have unwittingly inherited through despondence-- However, this state continues to siphon away any trace of dignity I've so feebly retained.
The smile isn't fooling anyone.
I seriously want a way out of this.
Until it becomes apparent to me
It will be pursued regardless of the strain.

Coraline.

2009-02-15T08:13:59Z

Though the margin is narrow, it's by far the best movie you'll ever see in 3-D-- Memorable storyline, characters, and cinematography, It was well worth the *sigh* thirteen dollars I shelled out for the evening. It manages a position in among the five rungs of animated movies I've loved....What might those be might, you might ask? Well, as it stands, here's the aforementioned list (Provided you haven't seen any of the films that made the oh-so-vital cut, it would behoove you to buy/rent the DVDs):

1. Nausciaa and the Valley of Wind
2. The Secret of NIMH
3. Coraline
4. Laputa: Castle in the Sky
5. American Pop

The Bark Lady.

2009-02-13T01:03:56Z

I could imagine she's been at this routine for quite some time. During the two years my family has lived in Campbell, there have been several sightings of this enigmatic and somewhat mystical being. However, the number of complaints I've heard about the bark lady have vastly increased in the recent months. Rumor has it, she lives on New Jersey Street in one of those older looking duplexes.
She is utterly steadfast in her routine- Every morning, she puts on the same turquoise windbreaker, fuschia stretch pants, and matching beret and takes to Shulman Avenue. She creeps across the street, her pale, ancient features made more pallid by monolithic clouds early morning sunlight. She stops at the trunk of an artificially transplanted birch tree, gazes passionately at the papery layers of bark. Her expression still deadpan, she begins to peel away the white layer, casting aside the fruits of her labour onto small patches of grass in front of the houses of our street. Upon completion of this task, she takes to the discarded scraps, kicking them like flat, tiny soccer balls into nothingness. Though devoted to her craft, she never ceases to meet a smiling face with a raspy 'hello.' Though she garners innumerable bewildered stares from homogeneous suburbanites in tract homes, her gentle presence alters the landscape of an otherwise unexciting and static neighborhood.

She- the ultimate weapon

2009-02-01T05:14:50Z

The economy of their humdrum
And everything that envelops them
you are the sum of their parts
A welcome conclusion to unyielding, chaotic prose
The rediscovered blueprint to ancient ruins
Alpha, Omega
The resounding "Amen"
That tramples angels
and provides a vessel for mother god

Civilization collapses
Earth Crumbles
And universe will implode
Only for you
Who bears teeth at destruction

Writer's Block: So Long, Farewell

2009-01-20T08:22:51Z

It's the last day in office for George Bush. There's been a lot of talk in the media lately about Bush's legacy. What do you think he will be most remembered for?

View 500 Answers

Heh, "farewell," she says.
Not since the Regan administration has our nation experienced such a tremendous bludgeon to any manner of progress made in the name of civil rights and our reputation abroad. From its inception into the most recent stages of its respective wars, the aftermath of the Bush Administration successfully exposed the majority of the American people to the staunch degree of powerlessness they bear as a collective. 2000 provided stark evidence of this futility-- though popular votes were tallied in favor of Vice President Gore, Bush's victory was ensured through some cruel stroke of Deus Ex Machina through the hands of the electoral college.
What resulted was a revival of the Regan era's most despicable qualities-- Trickle down economics, which were largely responsible for the establishment of the modern American Ghetto, were reinstated, blotting out the social programs and educational prominence previously established under Clinton. The winners in this dialectic are ostensibly notorious for keeping the spoils within family lines as opposed to making the necessary investments to allow a fighting chance for the worst off of us. Unfortunately, the antitrust laws set forth under the Roosevelt and Clinton administrations were willfully undermined, allowing the most treacherous corporations to receive the greatest degree of protection, thus relegating the intellectual and industrial capacities of the American people into the developing world. A vocal supporter of NAFTA, CAFTA, and intimate with Paul Wolfowitz, Bush's staunch support for globalization reflects a sense of utter disregard for American labour and has furthered an ongoing onslaught against the world's biodiversity.
Having undermined the degree of financial equity under the Clinton Administration, an even greater bludgeon was dealt to any strides made in the name of civil rights. Be it through some manner of insidious plot or simply the consequences of a policy that favors a narrow margin, the Bush Administration's withdrawal of resources from the public works system pulled the predominantly Black and Latino poor of America into further squalor. The most chilling example of this relegation of public resources was evident in the inefficacy of FEMA during the events surrounding Hurricane Katrina. Though the degree of racism evident in the lack of a timely response from the Executive Branch response was apparent, whether or not it was manifestly based on such politics makes it far from palpable in passing. Intentional or not, this haphazard response and others like it were reflective of general sense of apathy towards the Urban poor and otherwise downtrodden workers of this country.
(CONTINUED TOMORROW)

boynamed_crow @ 2009-01-16T23:30:00

2009-01-17T08:46:16Z

Today, I didn't venture more than a yard away from the house. Though I was not afflicted by any manner of illness, nor were there any matters at home that required my attendance, for some inexplicable reason, I was simply unmotivated to do so... I had no license to stay locked away, but there I was--sleeping for twelve hours straight, cooking and eating half the damned pack of curry rice without so much as a walk around the neighborhood. I'm sure that many people would find such a day refreshing- after all, the greater portion of people are employed, and would give a lesser appendage to be afforded such a privilege... I, on the other hand am loosely attending several classes at the alma mater and making haphazard attempts to seek employment...

No more.

2008-12-06T09:12:32Z

Thousands would kill to be in such a position-
When There's been very little consequence for inaction
And some manner of sustenance without the burden of reinforcement
Would you really feel proper
Accepting a stipend for your decay?
When valiance crumbles under the weight of market priced grace
And sinews loosen- unraveling threads
The last gasp would be a welcome transition
From the hiss of innumerable tubes Going to and from
Preventing it from budding.
=======
I'm a crustacean
in a vintage shell
It's the new look
Tight in all the right places
bursting with thread and sinews on worn out knees
Just find a new place before the bottom feeders find you
But you're oh so content to stay trés-chic.
=======
This reign of mediocrity has to end- I'm declaring war on the old angels
- and claiming the throne of their master.
- In the name of a brand new song.

Faux.

2008-12-03T07:51:46Z

It eyeballs a particularly juicy artery and sinks its proboscis about an inch.
Huge, frightening by all measure and disgusting- but it fails to cause him alarm.
Swelling, growing incandescent filled with so much fluid- The others come and avariciously pinpoint every fresh vein-- A slurp, a buzz.
He can't escape, only moving half shut eyes in their direction.

M83....

2008-11-29T23:25:25Z

...played a flawless set yesterday evening with a great opening act to boot.

Count it a blessing

2008-11-19T09:53:59Z

Things can only improve from here.

Renaissance of the insignificant

2008-11-18T08:09:03Z

The gentle hum of the furnace takes a soft, serpentine course throughout the ventilation systems of my parents' house. It circulates, making sleep that much less of a chore; white magickal lore, the salamanders stirring, and sends most of them to bed....
This one remains unaffected by it all.

Transparency consumes what remained of his flesh- He slips out of the room, finally unnoticed without a trace of fulfillment.
Past the bellows of their bedroom
Heavy steps, but it's no cause for alarm.
Greeted by the brisk, dusty autumn fragrance
He dances nimbly into the street
Joined by will-o-wisps
and the voices of the throng across a million years.
But their company brings no solace
Not a single face among the bunch
But Their collective presence is closer than most friends.
.........................................................
.........................................................

I can only improve from here....

boynamed_crow @ 2008-10-28T01:44:00

2008-10-28T08:50:05Z

Beyond another worn out prosaic prayer
Another footstep
Every day.
Not a stride too great.
But a chore so unsuitable for
Someone who breaks with little effort.
It won't be a pretty sight.
But you'll come running in tears to catch me.
When I fall carelessly into your skinny arms.

boynamed_crow @ 2008-10-19T18:02:00

2008-10-20T01:33:58Z

Clearly, I could stand to be a bit more active at this juncture-
Two months out of the job, and a few loosely attended classes at the community college again, the need for reformatting is palpable. This lapse has allotted enough time to resume the same mode of self-deprecation that marked another era, whose pangs I suspected were lightyears behind me in passing. Now, every misstep reverts me to the same atavistic, and cowardly hermetic state to which I submitted myself in a painfully servile fashion. The mirror brings a metastasizing sense of dread every morning-
Every desire has met some manner of blockage
The path towards self improvement has become overgrown with the same thorny vines that prevented me from any manner of growth...
Sure, the face I show the greater portion of them doesn't reflect this- however, the pressure upon my brow grows ever greater with each stated word.....

this isn't my idea of a year off-
I'd rather endure the worst torture imaginable
than to experience another week of this nonsense.

boynamed_crow @ 2008-10-09T19:04:00

2008-10-10T02:09:01Z

Explain your departure to me
My little pivoting, smile
I've grown accustomed to the sight of shrinking shoulders
But there's an explanation
I'm sure it's reasonable.
But compassion will collapse my spine
Nothing but goodwill,
I'm sure you're well aware
But that's why
You're a melody I never memorized.

A solitary angel extends her wrist

2008-09-03T03:07:31Z

New walls
A lower ceiling now
The air grows thin
And he's forced onto all fours
At the mercy of massive hands
That will meet each other

But there's that light-
reaching through the smallest cracks
And catch his heavy eyes
burning through every layer

And return his voice
He will sing your praises
and spread such a sweet gospel